The names of the days in a week are for the most part based on Norse mythology and astrology, as in the sun and the moon.
Sunnudagr was the old Norse name, Søndag in Norwegian and the English language is spot on with Sunday, as the meaning is Sun Day.
Ole, a Lutheran pastor and Sven a church elder, were in the church yard early one Sunday morning, pounding in a stake with a sign on it that in big black letters read, “The End is Near. Turn Yourself Around Before It Is Too Late.”
They’d just finished pounding in the sign when a yuppie drove by in his BMW convertible, and yelled as he sped by, “Not today. I’m busy.”
Just after he disappeared around the curve in the road, they heard tires screeching, followed by a loud swear, and then a big splash. Ole and Sven looked at each other, and Ole said,
“Perhaps we should change the sign to read, ‘Caution! Bridge Out,’ instead?”
Igor, Sam, and Ole were having a discussion on a Sunday afternoon, and the topic of the space race came up.
“We were the first in space,” said Igor who is a Russian.
“Be that as it may, but we were the first to land and walk on the moon,” said Sam the American.
“So what, we’re going to be the first to land on the sun,” said Ole.
Igor and Sam looked at each other and rolled their eyes. Then Sam looked at Ole and said, “Are you crazy? You can’t land on the sun, its too hot, you’ll burn up.”
“Oh ya, we’re not stupid you know, of course we’ll go at night,” said Ole.
Mánadagr was the Norse name, in Norwegian it is called Mandag and in English Monday, meaning Moon Day.
Ole and Sven were sitting on a park bench in Saskatoon one night talking. Ole asked Sven, “What do you think is closer, Vancouver or the moon?”
Sven looked at Ole, then up at the moon, shook his head and said, “Hello? Can you see Vancouver?”
Týsdagr is today called Tirsdag for the Norwegians and Tuesday in all the English speaking countries, meaning Tyr’s Day (Norse god of war).
Sven had an interview last Tuesday for a new job as an in-store furniture salesman.
“Please tell me what you feel is your worst quality,” said the manager.
“Well, I’m probably too honest,” said Sven.
“That’s not a bad thing. I think being honest is a good thing,” said the manager.
“I don’t give a rat’s ass what you think,” said Sven.
Óðinsdagr was the Norse name for what we in Canada call Wednesday, Onsdag in Norwegian, meaning Odin’s Day.
During their regular Wednesday meeting at the local bar, Ole and Sven were discussing the amount of control they had over their wives, while Karl remained quiet looking at them. Then they both looked at Karl, and Ole said, “What sort of control do you have over your wife Karl?”
“Well, the other night my wife came to me on her hands and knees,” said Karl.
“Wow, what happened?” said Sven, totally amazed.
“She looked me square in the eyes and demanded that I come out from under the bed and fight like a man,” said Karl.
Þórsdagr is in North America called Thursday, Norwegians call it Torsdag, meaning Thor’s Day, Thor being the Norse god of thunder.
It was a beautiful sunny Thursday, when Sven who was touring Britain in a rented Range Rover, screeched to a halt in the middle of Warwickshire Village. He rolled down his window and asked the local farmer, “Excuse me sir, am I on the right road to Shakespeare’s birthplace?”
“Straight ahead sir, but no need to hurry. He’s dead,” said the farmer.
Frjádagr, in Norwegian it is Fredag and in English it is called Friday, and is named in honour of Frigg, the goddess wife of Odin.
One nice Friday before the long weekend, Lena was stopped by an RCMP officer conducting a check stop. He asked to see Lena’s driver’s license, and upon close examination of the license, the officer said, “It states here on your license that you are required to wear glasses when driving. I’ll have to issue you a ticket, and you need to have somebody come and drive your car home.”
“I have contacts,” said Lena.
“I don’t care who you know. I still have to give you a ticket,” said the officer.
Laugardagr, in Norwegian Lørdag, which in English is called Saturday, and is Bath Day. The old Norsemen treated themselves to weekly baths before congregating in the Viking village’s communal halls for the weekend revelry.
Ole lived in Mexico, and used to cross the border into the United States on a regular basis. But had to stop when Donald Trump became President of the US. However, when they started excavating for the wall, Ole again started to cross the border, but only on Saturdays.
Each time he crossed with a wheelbarrow full of dirt. The US border guards stopped him every time, demanded his passport, and sifted through the dirt in search of any contraband. They never found anything and waived him through. Sven, a good friend of Ole, asked him what he was doing crossing the border every Saturday with a wheelbarrow full of dirt.
“My cousin owns a hardware store across the border, and I smuggle wheelbarrows to him once a week.”
